To The Newly Engaged Ladies

By Ikenga Chronicles February 28, 2020

To The Newly Engaged Ladies

— Fr. Kelvn Ugwu

If you were among those engaged recently especially during this year’s valentine, I join all your friends to congratulate you. You would have noticed how heavy it was to say “Yes”. And even though you did not want to shed tears, you would have noticed how the tears kept pouring out as he kept telling you those sweet words about how you will be the mother of his children and how both of you will spend eternity together.

My dear, it is true that I may not know you personally, but because you read me online, I felt I should sincerely reach out to you with this piece of advice.

You know ladies are emotional. In fact, most have extremes of emotions. Her man can buy her chocolate today and she will shed tears in appreciation, telling him how he is the man of her dreams. Just the next day, if he forgets it’s the birthday of her great grandfather who died many years ago in the 1920s, she will forget all she said to him the previous day and tell him how he is not concerned about things that concern her plus how he is the worst man anyone can get married to.

Woman. . .
Prayers and hand that the pastor laid on her, she falls down and starts rolling on the floor as though anointing only falls on women. Then, just that sameday, her neighbour rendered help by carrying some of the clothes she spread under the sun before going to church because the wind was blowing them away, without asking who carried her clothes and why, she starts fighting, shouting, insulting and casting anyone that has come to steal her clothes to do rituals.

Woman. . .
A call from an unknown caller telling her that her bank account is having problem, she reveals all her account details, password and pin to the scammer. In the same way, small dry joke that one stranger who walked up to her just cracked, she is already laughing and calling out her phone numbers and agreeing on a date.

Woman. . .
In the same way her battery gets full quickly, that is how it gets drained in a second.

So dear beautiful ladies, one of the longest and most important journey you will make is to move from the heart of feelings to the head of reasoning. You must create that balance. Don’t be too carried away by any emotion, be it love, anger, hate, excitement. Maintain your balance.

There is a reason why I am saying this.

Anybody that is capable of giving you the greatest joy can automatically give you the greatest pain. Giving your heart to someone in ways that you feel so happy without measure means that if the person ever disappoints by betraying that trust, you will equally feel pains in ways beyond measure.

If you are not emotionally strong and balanced, the same way you were excited and crying as he placed the ring on your finger during your engagement, that is how you will be devastated and might even kill yourself or kill someone if he ever betrays that trust.

You may have felt very shocked at the stories that have been making headlines on how women are stabbing their husbands to death because they caught him cheating. You may have told yourself that you can never descend to that point no matter what.

Well, it is important you know that unless you balance your emotions and have control of them, you may do worst when put in the same situation as those women.

Let this sink into you, your man can give you happiness, but the most guaranteed happiness is the one you give yourself, unless you want to cheat on yourself. He can love you, but the one you are most sure of is the love you give yourself.

Love him, allow him to love you, but make sure you are happy with or without him. Or else, don’t marry.