Runs (Episode 7)

By Ikenga Chronicles July 26, 2018

Runs (Episode 7)

The rain had intensified, making it difficult for Barbara to see clearly, so she packed the car at a corner and when she turned to see Akudo, she noticed her mind had gone far in thoughts.

The Benin Baba had given her a liquid charm to use for her assignment.

“Akudo, wetin you dey think?” Barbara asked.

Akudo sighed, “My sister, how I go take cut man peepee, chai, chineke!”

Barbara laughed, “Na why you dey like this? That charm wey baba give you go just make the manhood to disappear, you go rub am for your hand, touch him peepee when e dey sleep. The manhood go come appear for baba shrine,” Akudo gasped, “Na real juju be this na, you think sey na the toy work wey Kere dey do for Lagos? Na we go be the real Lagos babes.”

Akudo’s mood lightened a bit. “I am relieved, I been think sey na knife I for use cut am after I don use the water.”

 Runs (Episode 6)

Barbara laughed, “Na die be that na. You wan kill person? Baba no dey kill person o. Baba dey empower young women like us, make we explore the world, bring am more customers.”

The rain had stopped, and they could see a few cars drive by. Akudo was relieved, because Barbara was able to explain the easy way to Baba’s assignment.

They’d gotten a hotel that same day and driven back to Lagos the next day.

As they arrived Lagos, Akudo’s phone rang and when she checked who it was, she sighed,

“Na who be that?” Barbara asked.

“Hmm, na aunty Kelechi o, she dey call me for the ten percent of that Owerri runs wey that idiot give me fifty k for good five rounds wey I bin give am.”

“Pick the call, tell am sey the man bin no try.” Barbara said thoughtfully.

Akudo placed the phone to her ears, “Good afternoon aunty Kelechi, I bin wan call you since o, but I no get credit.”

“Aku, my client called and said you were rude to him,”

 Runs (Episode 3)

Akudo cuts in, “God go punish that him mouth, me? rude? You suppose sabi me by now aunty Kelechi, that man too stingy, e dey stay for oyigbo country, but e no get better money to take care of woman, you no go believe sey e give me only fifty thousand, plus my flight, to and fro, I bin no even fit pay you my percentage, how I for do nau?” She lamented.

Kelechi was mute for a few seconds, “No worry, better runs dey for Lagos now, I go text you the address wey you go meet am for one hotel for Apapa. Abeg, I dey take God name beg you, no just fumble this one.” Aunty Kelechi said pleadingly over the phone.

“I don hear you, I go meet am.”

She hung up the call and then turned to Barbara, “Aunty Kelechi runs no dey move me o, her people no dey pay.”

“No be the same runs wey Kere come with you come collect better money? Babe leave that thing, do this assignment finish and your life go change.”

“I fit try am with this man wey I dey see today?” Akudo asked.

“You dey craze? You wan go jail? You no get sense for head o. Kelechi no for work with you again, and dem for catch you easily through Kelechi.”

Runs (Episode 4)

Akudo nodded agreeably.


Her new client was Mr Branson, a shy, bone thin Lebanese with such a strong accent. Akudo had trouble understanding him. He changed into his boxers and lighted a stick of cigarette, taking it to his mouth.

“I am in a hurry, please do let me get out of here.” Mr Branson said.

“You pay me first.” Akudo said sharply.

“Are you a prostitute? Why should you demand for payment?”

“Ahhh, I don enter!” Akudo exclaimed. “Before nkor, wetin I be oyigbo?”

“You’re a runs girl,” Mr Branson said.

Akudo laughed and clapped her hands into the air, “Ah, Akudo Udechukwu, you don suffer for men hand. Oyigbo, I no be your girlfriend o, I no be your friend, I be ashawo, you go pay me first, before I go open this my legs give you.” She said, panting like she was about to have a fight.

“How much are you going for?”

“Five hundred thousand, cash and carry.”

“What?” Mr Branson exclaimed, “That’s huge, I’m not gonna have that, I give you twenty thousand, we do, you go, agreed?”

 Runs (Episode 2)

Akudo laughed, a hard and painful laugh, “You say? Ahhhhh, Akudo Udechukwu don suffer. Oyigbo, na my sweet mango, wey you dey price like this like sey na crayfish?”

“If you’re not gonna agree to the twenty, you can go, Kelechi knows me too well for all these drama. I’m gonna call some other girl.”

Without pausing to think, she quickly dressed up and slipped into her shoes, not worrying about the hooks of her brassiere. She threw her handbag over her shoulders and raised the hood of her blouse to cover her blond hair. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she turned to Mr Branson, “Oyigbo the way God go take punish you enh, even sef, your country people no go recognize you again. Mumu like you!” She said insolently and slammed the door behind her.

She called Aunty Kelechi and began to rant, “Aunty Kelechi, if no be sey you be woman wey I respect, I for don quit this thing since. That red thing, wey call himself Oyigbo dey price me twenty thousand for my sweet mango, e know how much dem dey sell better virginity soap? If no be sey, I don work with you, since from Owerri, I for don craze by now.”

“Akudo, what exactly is your problem? I am trying to help you and you’re misbehaving. Did I make the mistake of taking you back even after you stole a client’s money in Yaba? I am trying to help you, and you still wanna suffer on the streets, you don’t want to get yourself a better man, behave yourself Akudo.”

 Diary Of A Pastor’s Wife (Part 1)

Akudo laughed mockingly, “Aunty Kelechi, I am a small girl with a big god, you don’t know the places I have been to at my age. My man friend is an alhaji, he would have married me since, but I don’t want to be a second wife. You don’t know me o, in the next few weeks, you go hear sey I don buy house for Ikoyi…”

Before she could complete her words, Aunty Kelechi had hung the call on her.

©Vicky Bon