Only In Nigeria

By Ikenga Chronicles April 23, 2018

Only In Nigeria

— Vitus Ozoke

Didn’t this guy just this past November contest the governorship in Anambra state? So he ran for governor in his home state of Anambra, got less than 1,000 votes, and now, barely 6 months after that pitiful showing, he is a candidate for the presidency of the Federal Republic of Nigeria? Is that how it works? I like his wicked sense of humor. The theme of his comedic stunt is that Nigeria is a joke. That the Nigerian presidency is a Disney park adventure.

You would expect that when someone lost a governorship race so woefully, he would do a lessons-learned analysis, and make needed adjustments. That Analysis in the case of a political neophyte could have suggested a step-back to lower political offices and building up from those. If you barely made the scoreboard in a governorship race, you should consider local government councilorship or chairmanship, state House of assembly or even volunteer to work on a campaign to gain experience. But what do we have here?

Obviously, he was not good for his people of Anambra state, so he is going for the presidency of the entire country. In Nigerian politics, charity begins abroad, not at home. That’s how much of a joke we have made such a great country. Sad!

My fear for this whole youth thing is that it is turning into a circus. This whole generational power shift argument is being trivialized. Just because you could pump your fist and tighten up a budge of bicep does not make you ready for presidency. And what the hell is meant by “the last bus stop”? You haven’t begun a journey. You don’t have a clear sense of your takeoff point and you are already talking about last bus stop.

I think we need to have a clear articulation of this whole youth thing. Youth, as an argument for intergenerational power shift, means intellectual vibrancy and acuteness, not wordless and thoughtless exhibition of ripped muscles. Mayor Rudy Giuliani bungled his 2008 presidential campaign because other than 911, Giuliani had nothing else to offer American Republican primary voters. Every one of Giuliani’s statements and answers to questions was all about 911. His sentence structure was subject-verb-911. And Rudy lost big! 911 is not a political philosophy. Neither is youthism.

You can’t gym, ab, and six-pack your way into Aso Rock. That’s not how it works. What’s your manifesto? Being youthful is not enough. If all you have is youth then play sports, join the army, become a boxer. Whatever you choose to do, just don’t crowd up the youth lane. That lane could use less traffic. Somebody should advise this son of Pete Edochie to tone down this Okonkwo Ebubedike bravura. Things Fall Apart is a fiction; it did not happen. His father understood that and has stayed in fictional Nollywood.

And when did he switch to APGA? He ran on a different platform just a few months ago. What happened? When did he see the light? That must be quite a blinding light. It takes so much light, of the halogen intensity, to jump from a woeful gubernatorial run to a presidential marathon within a space of six months. Only in Nigeria…