My Marriage Had To End—For My Life To Begin

By Ikenga Chronicles December 30, 2016

My Marriage Had To End—For My Life To Begin

I never wanted to be divorced, but now I see that it was the only way for my life to truly begin.

There was a time when I would have rather been unhappy and unfulfilled than divorced, because it seemed that there was (and perhaps still is) a stigma attached to this sometimes necessary part of life.

I never wanted to be a divorcée—or worse a single parent.

So I dragged my heels as my marriage petered out to an end that was inevitable, taking so long because I was afraid of the next step in my life and my ultimate fear of: what if I’m alone forever?

I had built so much of my personal identity upon being coupled with another that I never had the chance to learn who I really am, so at the time my biggest concern was finding someone else to help me distinguish who I was.

Thankfully though, it was a concern of mine, and I was extremely selective in who I let into my inner circle, so I ultimately I’ve remained single since first separating from my husband—and though it wasn’t always easy, I now know that it was completely necessary.

If my marriage hadn’t ended then, I would have continued to be blocked mentally, emotionally, creatively and spiritually.

I would have grown as mossy as a pond in summer, green with stagnant waters that never move.

But it wasn’t the path that I was meant to walk, and though there were times when I found myself on my knees crying so hard I became breathless, it was all part of a greater plan.

During the first year after my divorce, I was in recovery mode—meaning that at times, it was a daily struggle to simply survive, even if I was smiling and laughing on the



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