Let’s Get Intimate: Can We Trust after Infidelity?– Rachel Astarte

By Ikenga Chronicles February 19, 2017

Q. How can I start trusting my husband again after he has cheated with several people online?

He has changed his phone number, and will be deleting his e-mail accounts.

A. I hope that you and your husband have received some kind of couples counseling or coaching.

If not, I urge you to begin there. I cannot stress enough the benefit of having a neutral space to discuss emotionally sensitive topics like infidelity. Sometimes, after a breach of trust such as the one you experienced, we think we can go it alone and deal with our feelings in a healthy way.

We may very well be able to. However, what we won’t be able to do is discover what our partner is feeling. More importantly why s/he is feeling that way. In sessions with relationship professionals, we can stop playing detective and perform the healing process of giving and receiving.

Even if you are in coaching or counseling, there is still the matter of how to trust again, especially as the healing process takes its course.

The answer is a painfully simple one: You either do it or you don’t.

Only you can decide if the relationship you have with your husband is worth the long haul toward recovery. Deep in your heart, you know who this man is. Something about him attracted you (likely many things). You chose him as your own. Hopefully over time, you know him even more deeply. You’ve stuck around.

And now this. As my spin instructor likes to say as we’re sweating our heavy pedal strokes, “This is the work.”

What’s your baseline? 

All women have one. It’s the line in the sand we draw, and if a partner crosses it, he’s finished. For some, it’s physical abuse. For others, it’s cheating. There are some women

READ MORE: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/lets-get-intimate-can-we-trust-after-infidelity-adult-qa/

Rachel Astarte is a transformational coach, professional voice-over artist, shamanic practitioner, and peace activist. She is currently completing a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy toward New York State licensure. She is the author of Celebrating Solitude: How to Discover and Honor Your Highest Self. Rachel online: Healing Arts New York: Transformational coaching for individuals and couples Mind Massage: The body massage for your brain Facebook communities: Let’s Get Intimate Healing Arts New York Mind Massage

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