Laughing At Punch And Its ‘Yo Momma’ Journalism

By Ikenga Chronicles December 11, 2019

Laughing At Punch And Its ‘Yo Momma’ Journalism

— Dr. Vitus Ozoke

“As a symbolic demonstration of our protest against autocracy and military-style repression, PUNCH (all our print newspapers, THE PUNCH, Saturday PUNCH, Sunday PUNCH, PUNCH Sports Extra, and digital platforms, most especially will henceforth prefix Buhari’s name with his rank as a military dictator in the 80s, Major General, and refer to his administration as a regime, until they purge themselves of their insufferable contempt for the rule of law” (The Punch Organization)

Really? So, of all the punishments Punch could inflict upon Buhari, it chose “Yo Momma”-type attack? As in ‘Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it is still printing’. Or, ‘Yo momma is so dumb, when y’all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said Disneyland Left, and she got mad and went home’.

So, Nigeria, like Rome, is burning and all Emperor Punch could do to salvage the situation was punish Buhari by addressing him by his hard-earned title? Really? So, Buhari should cry home to his momma because Punch has called him a Major General, and has called his administration a regime? Really?While at it, why not we start calling Aso Rock Dodan Barracks? Why are we still calling the Vice President Yemi Osinbajo? Why not we start calling him Brigadier General Tunde Idiagbon? Oh, it’s Christmas, but why not we start calling it Yuletide?

I think Punch needs to be investigated. I suspect that Buhari bribed Punch to do what it did. How much did Punch receive from Buhari to want to revert to Buhari’s coveted military title of Major General? You have a man who seems to be failing at what he is currently doing – being a president – and you are about to throw him a lifeline by addressing him with a coveted title? Does Punch not know that, all over the world, the military institution is regarded and respected way higher than the political institution? Politics is the scummiest profession in the world. And you want to untie Buhari from the scum of politics and restore him to the highly coveted rank of a military General? What do Ademola Osinubi and his editorial board smoke at Punch?

Symbolic demonstration of your protest? Really? What part of Nigeria’s problems under the Buhari government is symbolic? How do you bring a pillow to a gunfight? The country is going through some real raw deal, and your arsenal of war against the man at the helm is a symbolic re-glorification? And you are supposed to be Punch? Naaaa, c’mon, Ademola, you should be smarter than that. Punch should be stronger than that. Grow some spunk and quit the ‘yo momma’ journalism. If Punch is really Punch, then, it should punch, not punt.