It Is Possible Your Wife Feels That You Don’t Deserve Her

By Anayo Nwosu July 10, 2020

It Is Possible Your Wife Feels That You Don’t Deserve Her

Ogbenyeanu, better known as Gbenyes, wants to end her marriage but she is just bidding her time. She is so sure that she made a huge mistake marrying Thomas. She thought that the initial flaws she noticed in her husband were what she could handle but as days go by she is getting convinced that it is time to call it quits.

Gbenyes had hoped that her husband would take his agility in bed to his workplace. Thomas does not work harder to be rich to provide the kind of comfort she read in the novels and could be seen in Ikoyi, Lekki and Victoria Island homes. She had dreamt of a successful husband but Thomas has become a failure. He has not been promoted in his work place. And the wife even commend his employers for keeping him this long. The guy is not impressionable and is downright regular. The annoying aspect is that Thomas is not bothered. He believes that his future is bright even at 42 years of age with three children.

Gbenyes could not tell why she didn’t leave her husband early enough even though she had the inkling or saw the early warnings in the quality of gifts he sent her during their short courtship. She hoped that she could nudge him to work harder. Her desire to have her baby early enough also deterred her. She had issues with fibroids and was advised by her doctors to conceive as early as she could and have her babies. Now she is done with baby making and her husband has failed to meet her expectations, she believes it’s now time to quit. And quit she has decided to do.

Gbenyes was a brilliant woman who graduated on top of her class at polytechnic. She got a secretarial job in an oil company and has blossomed. She is highly industrious and imaginative, the traits that made promising young men run away from her out of inferiority complex. The kind of man she would have loved to marry felt very intimidated by her composure and mastery in all she does. Her name Ogbenyeanu meaning “that the poor cannot marry” was even more scary to ambitious guys with poor backgrounds.

Thomas was from an above average home whose parents were civil servants who grew rich with postings and promotions. He went to good schools, passed his exams but has no fight in him. He is not the talking type hence could not reveal much about himself. Gbenyes took him for an extremely gentle man and married him upon recommendation by an aunt. Both Gbenyes and Thomas desired to settle down. It was like a coincidence of wants.

Gbenyes is not alone.

There are many wives that are fed up with their marriages or with their husbands and are looking for escape routes or triggers. Many are being held up in the marriage by what people would say, the religious injunctions, parental admonitions or to avoid emotional destabilisation of their children. I know a few men who are also trapped.

Many men reading this article may not know what their wives are thinking about them.

Most women don’t say it out but would show it by making the home a leaving hell for the man. They start by zipping up or locking up the cave of happiness leaving the man sex starved. Some even cook for themselves and children alone.

It is not only lack of finance that makes a wife want to quit. The inability of a husband to meet the sex needs of his wife is becoming a modern reason not heard of in the time of our forefathers. At that time, wives were contented with their sex rations in mostly polygamous setting.

There are a lot of women married to very wealthy men but yet can give anything to escape from what they deem tortuous marriage simply because the husbands cannot make them “come” or shout “praise the rod”. This category of wives call their hardworking and wealthy husbands “lazy”.  How can a hardworking man be lazy at home?

I heard that Gbenyes and Thomas are planning to relocate to Canada. I know what Gbenyes is planning to do. Your guess is as good as mine. I heard that a wife sending her husband packing over there is like removing a pimple on the ridge of a nose; so easily.

The sad part is that Thomas thinks that all is well with his marriage. He is also a good christian. 

  • Ikenga Ezenwegbu, anayonwosu@icloud.com
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