How To Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable People

By Ikenga Chronicles December 22, 2016

The “emotionally-unavailable” man or woman or “EU” as I like to call it, is probably the biggest issue we deal with in the dating world.

The term “emotionally unavailable” usually refers to people who create barriers between themselves and others in an effort to avoid emotional intimacy. Emotional unavailability stems from a lot of different things, but no matter where it stems from, it always poses issues in forming lasting relationships.

A relationship where both partners are “all-in” is tough enough. But when you’re dealing with someone who isn’t even “halfway in,” things are a lot harder.

You’re committed to being vulnerable, putting yourself out there, getting to know the person and possibly forming a great relationship—and they aren’t. I recently tried dating one of these and it wasn’t just frustrating on every level, but it left me with trust issues: specifically, my ability to trust my own judgement about who is worth my time and who isn’t. (He wasn’t.)

These are some tell-tale signs that you’re beating your head against the wall with an emotionally unavailable person. Heed the warning.

1. They’ve been in very few, if any, long-term relationships.

This is a red flag. If they haven’t been able to sustain anything that lasts more than a few months, it’s normally because they can’t open up or don’t want to commit to anyone long enough to form that emotional connection. If they’re in their 20s, they should have had at least one long-term relationship by now. If they’re in their 30s, a minimum of three. Anything less than that, and you may want to ask them why they think they haven’t been able to sustain a long-term relationship, especially if they date quite a bit.

2. They’re non-committal about everything, especially making plans.

You try to make plans with them, and you always….


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