From The Lunatic’s Pad: Niger Delta Youths And The ‘Cargo Cult’ Mentality(Drama)

By Ikenga Chronicles January 17, 2017

From The Lunatic’s Pad: Niger Delta Youths And The ‘Cargo Cult’ Mentality(Drama)

(Enter Nnaemeka, a clown)

“One thing that anybody who is very conversant with the Niger Delta will tell you is that the youths are always “waiting”. You will see them, most of them graduates, strolling to beer parlours, clubs and other places, all puffed up with over starched faded cloths. Check their account balances, you will see that it is redder than blood (well, some blood. Definitely not the blood of Niger Delta people which has become so alcohol diluted that it is now almost yellow). But they will be waiting. Telling you of the cars they will soon buy and the house they plan on building. Don’t get it confused, most of them are not criminals. They are not waiting for who to kidnap or rob. Their wait is for somethng else.”

(Tiny voice.)

“So what are Niger Delta youths always waiting for?”

“Good question. You think that all the time you see them, grown arse men playing ping pong or drinking gin in the afternoon, at dilapidated hotels in Bayelsa, or at posh places in Port Harcourt that they have no plans? Of course they have plans. All those games and alcohol intakes are efforts at whiling away time.

What they are calmly waiting for is the time when they will become a PA…”

(Tiny voice cuts in)

“Public Address system?”

“You no get sense? No, not a Public Address system, I mean Personal Assistant. They are waiting to become a PA, or a deputy PA, or even a PA to a PA. Once they become any of the above, they believe that all the goodies will come”

(Tiny voice)

“Is why elections are do or die affairs here? You have to show that you deserve to be a PA or PA to a PA?

“Now you know. Buy me Heineken, please. I try small”

“Wait jor! Heineken no go kill you. But wetin concern their waiting with that your “Cargo cult” English wey you speak?”
(Chinua Achebe enters, holding The Trouble With Nigeria and reads)

“”…the cargo cult mentality– a belief by backward people that someday, without any exertion whatsoever on their own part, a fairy ship will dock in their harbour laden with every goody they have always dreamed of possessing.”

Fades.

(Tiny voice)

“But our people dey exert nah. They kill and maim during elections”

Curtain.

 

  • From The Lunatic’s Pad is hosted weekly, on Tuesdays by Dum Syl Aminikpo. He is on Twitter as @dumsyl. Today’s version was contributed by a guest, Nnaemeka Oruh (@Oruhnc)
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