Falling In Love

By Ikenga Chronicles February 13, 2020

Falling In Love

— Fr. Kelvn Ugwu

There is this energy that comes with falling in love. The energy consumes the whole of you, it suspends your reasoning, it takes away your appetite for food, it gives you unimaginable joy and some kind of child-like excitement.

This energy of falling in love is so powerful. It can make a grownup man or woman to act like a toddler. It has no respect for men we call wise men. It takes away the ‘wise’ in them leaving them with just “men”. It is worst among teenagers, those experiencing the first birthday of the upsurge of their hormones.

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We all have our own personal shares of experiences when it comes to how we fell in love at some point. I have got experience of other peoples’ experiences as well. I have accompanied some through counselling.

Believe me when I say this: falling in love is not love.

When people fall in love, they usually do not have control of it. They begin by liking the face as though you are the most handsome or beautiful human being they have ever seen. Upon hearing your voice, they tend to fall the more. They feel lost in your voice, body shape, curves, etc. Things that appeal to the senses.

One common fact about falling in love is that the feeling does not last. Almost all those that claimed at one point that they have fallen in love soon fall out of love.

And when one cast his or her mind back to all that took place during the period of “falling in love”, you can’t help but laugh at the childishness in it.

And this is actually the point. The childishness characterised in falling in love, the suspension of one’s reasoning, the sole desire of the lovers to think more of bodily satisfaction make it difficult to call it love.

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Love on the contrary is an act of the will. In other words, it is a choice made. It is not a feeling that makes you act unreasonably. Rather it is a feeling that makes your actions reasonable.

You make a decision to love. The decision must be informed. By this, you do not close your eyes to your lovers negatives as though they don’t matter. You do not look at his or her strength as though there is no weakness. To choose to love is to choose to love the completeness of the person.

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This will help you see the gaps in the person and how you can possibly fill it so as to bring out all the beauty of the person. As you love, you will begin to see the growth you can bring into the life of the person without making the person lose his or her own unique self and personality.

If you are not bringing anything to make the person you love a more better version of themselves, then it is safe to say that you are a pest. And like all pests do, they feed themselves until their host is eaten up, then they abandon it and move to another.