Fine Outside; Ugly Inside

By Ikenga Chronicles June 8, 2017

Fine Outside; Ugly Inside

— Seun Ajayi

Some years back, I was still in the university and I had multiple setbacks then. They ranged from:

1. Falling below expectations as First Born
1a. Academics

My highly disciplined and educated parents had high expectations (you can relate; my father, humbly a Professor of Professors, my mother with about 3 degrees ). Almost every action taken by me was close to a fault. I lost my confidence (not my parents fault; because I only just realised that it was love but I took it for immature perfection then). Day after day, I would sob quietly and other times cry loudly in the presence of my younger ones. It was depressing!

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1b. Comparison with other Children

Our parents out of love would do anything, I mean everything possible to ensure you’re greater than them. As such when I fell below expectations, I would be compared with other kids; I’m sure you can relate…. Lol; particularly when you know the other kid is worse. Sometimes, it’s even done in their (kid) presence. Excuse me sir, it was depressing.

1c. Unfriendly Friends

Those years, I thought I had great friends; I didn’t know I was digging a pit using their shovels. They were arms to cry on; never knew twas double tragedy. Behind, they scorned me, they talked about my family as one that looked perfect from the outside and imperfectly imperfect inside. They would discourage great ladies I had interest in having a relationship with. I was greatly depressed those times.I would cry and cry! Aye le…. Ibosi Ooo..

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1d. Church nko

Growing up in the arms of Born Again parents (parents that sit on the laps of Jesus Christ) was quite rewarding. I was actively active in church. I didn’t know my being active was causing ripples; one day one day, someone I respected so much said to my face: “We know you are only active because your father is the pastor”. Sincerely yours , my morale dropped. Depression set in; because to now act was herculean. Mistake was I allowed their reasoning lead my decisions. Too bad o.

I could go on and on…. But today I’m who I am by the grace of God. I’m work in progress; I never allowed “those voices”. Just like a sweet friend said this morning that:

“I understand the place of spiritual attack very well and I know there are some things we can’t explain but many people would have been helped if only they knew the power of choice they had in choosing the voices they allow to speak to them”

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1. People have not come to understand selective information….
2. Most people are like GIGO–Garbage in, garbage out

If you’re reading this, kindly share your experience; encourage someone. People look so fine on the outside but ugly inside! Let’s save lives.

Seun Ajayi
Department of Estate Management
Obafemi Awolowo University.

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