Baba Bubu’s Travails
- Polifiction is a dramatization of political events. It is hosted by Nnaemeka Oruh
“I will belong to nobody, but I shall belong to everybody” Baba Bubu Gbegiri’s voice boomed from the podium. He had just been made the CEO of Naija People’s Non-Affairs Limited.
As was customary, the press and other well-wishers and stakeholders had gathered at the Lion Square to witness the epoch making event. In Naija People’s Non-Affairs Limited, every event involving rich foolish people is always termed ‘epoch-making’ by the media. As Baba Bubu Gbegiri was talking, journalists all over the world were furiously scribbling. The new generation media practitioners were also busy typing away and posting on their media pages. One was so anxious that he typed ‘CEO’ as “Chief Execution Officer.”
But that was the least of Baba Bubu’s problems. Today, nobody was going to make him get angry. For years, he had sought to be CEO to no avail. At one point, he had even cried and said he will not try again. In fact, he had vowed that trying again should be equated with a dog eating its own vomit.
But even the best of dogs can go back to their vomit especially if the dog has ‘young’ hot-headed ‘nationalists’ eager to prove a point by handing him the CEO on a platter of tin. All they needed to do was bamboozle the gullible Naija People’s Non-Affairs Limited people with well-crafted words. They were good, trust me they were. They turned Agege bread to chocolate cake. And for a hungry group of people, it was all they needed to hear. So they jumped at it, and the wailing Bubu was voted in as a CEO.
That day at Lion Square, as he spoke, the people clapped and even the Mallam from up North was so happy that he went to his own new media and posted; “Change! Change!!”
At another side of Lion Square, Yemi Ugonna, accompanied by his nkwa and beautiful-but-often-abused wife was not amused. He had funnelled in a lot of his department’s money to ensure the emergence of Baba Bubu as CEO. Who the hell then was Bubu to say ‘I will belong to nobody?’. I own his aged arse! Yemi Ugonna fumed
“Honey! Honey! Shout change with us nah!” Yemi Ugonna’s wife chided him. She was silenced with a strong handed backhand slap. Quickly, Ugonna’s security moved her away.
Yemi Ugonna brought out his phone, and scrolled down to find Baba Bubu’s number. Then he sent a quick text message;
What does ‘I will belong to nobody mean’?’
After all I did for you? I own you old man!
Baba Bubu had finished his speech by then and was seated with his wife when he received the text message. Blood drained from his face and his bowels nearly gave way. With his eyes, he sought for Yemi Ugonna…